President Donald J Trump signed an executive order yesterday immediately terminating all appointed “Bingo Inspectors” across the country. Said the orange water balloon:
“When I said I was going to drain the swamp, I meant it. Today, we show America that the wasteful spending of bingo enforcement and the crony patronage it created will be no more in this great country, unless it is in my own administration. I therefore create the Totally Awesome Federal Office of Bingo Administration.
You’ll love it, and be really proud. And you can win bigly!”
The move was questioned immediately by churches, charitable and non-profit organizations, who fear that without someone to ensure fair and open games of chance and, more importantly, the equitable granting of licenses for applicants, that “for-profit” bingo centers will pop up and crowd the market.
Republican Congressman and Trump-fetishist Chris Collins (NY 27th gerrymandered district) supported the executive action taken by Trump:
“Why do we need bingo inspectors anyways? There is no evidence to support any allegations of “bingo fraud”. This is just another useless regulation that hurts American businesses.”
Collins is the largest shareholder in an obscure Australian startup company called “G-47”, which has recently announced plans to build several “high end bingo parlors” in up to 17 states this year. Collins has denied his ties to the company influence in any way his support of President Trump’s action.
Another local voice has spoken up about the executive order.
New York State Assembly member Cheektowaga Town Board Councilmember James Rogowski (D) decried the move:
“Patronage positions such as “Bingo Inspector” have long been enjoyed by Democrats and Republicans alike as a means to reward those who support us, and to punish those who don’t. Nepotism is a big factor here too. This just isn’t fair! This is just a political witch hunt!”
Cheektowaga Supervisor Diane Benczkowski questions whether or not President even has the authority to remove local Bingo Inspectors and issue licenses on a Federal level.
However, the 25th amendment to the Constitution does make mention of this, in article B-7:
Whenever the President transmits to the President pro tempore of the Senate and Speaker of the House of Representatives written declaration his authority and power regarding regulation of ball-based games of chance for monetary winnings, then so shall it be, and it is right and good.
Right and good, indeed.