Number of Reporters Covering “Pokémon Go” Exceeds Number of Players

"I have the biggest and best Pokeballs even if my hands are small!"

The mobile game sensation Pokémon Go  has taken the United States by storm, with one estimate pegging the game at having 21 million daily active users since it’s launch last week.  However,  a new report form the US Department of Labor’s Bureau of Labor Statistics shows that number is dwarfed by the number of reporters and media correspondents covering the game by a factor of 2 to 1.

"I have the biggest and best Pokeballs even if my hands are small!"

“I have the biggest and best Pokeballs even if my hands are small!”

US Labor Secretary Thomas E. Perez issued this statement with the release of the study:

Our studies have shown that over 40 million reporters for newspaper, magazine, radio, television and internet have been reporting on the latest mobile gaming craze Pokémon Go since it’s release last week.

While the US Dept. of Labor makes no judgement on the subject matter, we are alarmed by the fact that there are over 40 million reporters in the US alone.  Our most recent national estimates were that there were only a little over 40,000 reporters working in the US.  Obviously, someone dropped a few zeros off that statistic.

The report notes that when you factor in bloggers into the number, the total rises to over 100 million people reporting on the goddamned game.  This includes lazy satire blogs looking to “pick the low-hanging fruit” of this Pokémon bandwagon without having to have a good angle on the entire phenomenon.

Said one national journalist, who wished to remain unnamed:

There’s a lot of depressing shit going on in the real news lately, so forgive us if we want to report on something that is sort of amusing for once.

Truth.

 

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