Erie County residents have been advised that they should boil their TVs if it displayed any of Donald Trump’s speech last night where he accepted the nomination of the Republican Party in the 2016 Presidential race.
From the Erie County Department of Health:
If your television was exposed to even trace amounts of Donald Trump’s acceptance speech last night, it may have been exposed to high levels of toxicity that includes festering bullshit, oozing pus of paranoia, feverish anger, and rabid isolationism in the guise of nationalism. In a large cauldron, bring your TV to a rolling boil for at least 10 minutes. If the entire speech was watched, you may need to go for a full 30 minute boil.
In addition to televisions, computers and mobile devices that displayed the speech should be boiled as well.
Erie County Executive Mark Poloncarz could not be reached for comment (or we didn’t try), but we looked on his Facebook feed for a line we could take out of context and found this:
“Watching this speech it is apparent it will be worse than I thought.”
Giant cauldrons for boiling your TV have already been sold out at many local area Tops and Wegmans. The Health Department has advised borrowing a neighbor’s cauldron if you don’t have one, but really, who doesn’t have at least two or three giant cauldrons lying around?