Collins First Of Trump Endorsements By Congressional Assholes

Asshole Endorses Bigger Asshole

Republican Congressman Chris Collins of New York’s 27th congressional district hurtled over a pack of congressmen to claim the prize of the first sitting member of the House to publically endorse  Donald Trump for President. Collins is the founding member of the caucus “Congressional Assholes for Trump”.

Collins, rich guy and former Erie County executive, is no stranger to being an asshole.  He previously supported the likes of Mitt Romney and  failed gubernatorial candidate, current Buffalo School Board member/legal fee generator, and all-around racially sensitive rich guy Carl Paladino.

Collins is known for being a jerk to children, women, old people, veterans, sick people, people who like human rights, people who seek knowledge, people who enjoy the arts, unions, while at the same time being pro-rat and disease.

His single greatest legislative accomplishment is continuing to fail to repeal Obamacare, thinking that breast cancer and prostate cancer are something you can just “shake off”.

Collins issued a statement:

Donald Trump has clearly demonstrated that he has both the guts and the fortitude to somehow (with a double-secret plan) return our nation’s jobs stolen by China, take on our enemies like ISIS (bomb them and take their oil) , Iran (bomb them and take their oil), North Korea (bomb them and take their… whatever they got)  and Russia (scare Putin with his raw alpha-male musk and gold-plated brass balls, and then maybe bomb them), and most importantly, reestablish the opportunity for our children and grandchildren to attain the American Dream, if your dream of the future lies somewhere between “Idiocracy” and “Americathon”.

Representative Collins’ spokesperson, Gerry Mander, spoke of “Congressional Assholes for Trump”:

A great movement has begun and can already count on the support of admitted vapist Congressman Duncan Hunter of California. We expect the ranks to grow in the coming days and weeks.  Sure, some of our members may have previously put their support behind the likes of Jeb Bush and Marco Rubio, but the winds of change are here, and these congressmen know which way the wind is blowing.  And they know where the wind has originated from:  The hot, steaming orifice of Donald Trump.  All America will be smelling this wind soon.

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