GUEST COMMENTARY: The Buffalo Heroin Problem Is That I Can’t Score Any

Wheroin is the Heroin?

EDITOR’S NOTE: Scott Olsteen is a South Buffalo native who is currently “in between jobs”.  His views are his own, and do not reflect the views of the staff at The Tommunist.

At an ever-increasing rate, I see, hear and read all kinds of news stories talking about the so-called heroin problem in Buffalo and Erie County.   And all I can think of is, “Why can’t I score any?!”

Like many people looking to score, I was first made aware of the opioid painkiller after years of abuse of prescription painkillers (I’d had a bum back after a killer street hockey game in the parking lot where Hills used to be).  Man, getting off that shit sucked, and I was in constant withdrawal. I think I hit up every elderly relatives’ medicine cabinet to raid their codeine, oxycodone, hydrocodone and any other goddamn “codone” I could find.  But man, swallowing pills isn’t my thing.

I asked my “guy I know” who would sell me weed and bath-salts about what options there are for me.  He suggested heroin. Faster acting than morphine, and up to four times as powerful: heroin can be injected right into you, or is available in freebase powder form if you don’t like needles.  Man, you can smoke that shit!

I was totally in, but my guy couldn’t hook me up.  What the fuck?

I tried to research this.  Was this like “Not Your Father’s Root Beer” where everybody jumped on the bandwagon and bought it all up?  Was it a fad that would eventually level off in the market?

One third of all the heroin the fuckin’ Feds confiscated this year was from New York State alone!  So there’s a market for it here, but I can’t even find one dealer.  I finally got a number to text for a source, then I found out they were busted in June! Glad I used my Gramma’s “Obama-phone” to make that text!

I guess this shit’s so popular, suppliers are “cutting” the supply; adding other stuff in to dilute it because it’s cheaper and you can push more.  Man, I’d even take that “heroin-lite”. I hear if they mix fentanyl in, you can get pretty goddamn high.  Yeah, it could kill me, but I got a bunch of doses of Narcan on me just in case, the same stuff cops and EMTs are stocking.  So, I’m ready. But “Where-oin is the Heroin”?

I figure they’ll be some openings soon.  118 people in Erie County already died this year from this, and they’re projecting at least 270 by year’s end. With 300-some people dead soon, I’m sure that means I got 300 more chances to score some!

But, Christ, I’m gonna have to resort back to paint-huffing soon if I can’t score, and I haven’t done that since I dropped out of high school.

So, if you got a good line on where I can score some, lemme know. I’m usually out smoking on “The Slants” at Caz Creek.

That “Baby be mine” graffiti? Yeah, that’s mine, bitches! Legendary!

And Merry Christmas! And God bless you, Scotty. Loved me some STP.


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