Obama Pardons Turkey, Putin Executes Turkey as Being Isis Supporter

A Turkey Named "Nato" Is Executed by Putin

The same day that a visibly disinterested President Obama fulfilled his Constitutional duty of pardoning a turkey from becoming Thanksgiving dinner, Russian President-For-Life Vladimir Putin himself summarily executed a turkey for being what he calls “an ISIS supporter.

Умирают, джайв задницу Турция

A study in contrast

 

Early this morning, President Obama gathered outside the White House with his visibly disinterested daughters to pardon a turkey named Kissinger:

“I, under the authority granted to me by the Constitution of the United States of America, hereby order a complete and total pardon of Kissinger.  Now that this shit is done, I’m gonna go get a coffee.”

At the same time in Russia, President Putin shot and killed a turkey named Nato after accusing the bird of being a supporter for the so-called Islamic State, or ISIS (or ISIL, or Mrs. Dash).  Said Vlad before pulling the trigger:

“This turkey has stabbed Russia in the back, and there is a price to pay.  Do we really want Nato to serve the interests of ISIS?  This cannot be allowed. I cannot qualify what this turkey did in any other way. Spokojnoj Nochi!”

The animal wing of Amnesty International condemned the killing, saying the turkey’s only crime was “being born delicious”.

EDITOR’S NOTE:

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