Guest Commentary: Target Putting The Bullseye On Our Children’s Genitals

Wonder Person And Spider Human, if the PC Police have their say

-Editor’s note: The Tommunist isn’t just about straight news reporting of only the facts. Today we shall begin a new feature with a guest commentator.  Karl Argle-Bargle is one of Buffalo’s most ambitious business developers. He owns a string of parking lots throughout the city, and is the owner of “HighBar“, the area’s premiere rooftop niteclub, as well as the gourmet hot-dog restaurant “Put My Weiner Into Your Mouth“.  He also has a keen interest in our public schools.  Mr. Argle-Bargle’s opinions are his own, and do not reflect the views of the staff at The Tommunist, nor anyone else, for that matter, hope to God…

Wonder Person And Spider Human, if the PC Police have their say

Wonder Person And Spider Human, if the PC Police have their say

Political correctness will be the death of America as we know it.  And it’s been a slow march to that gas-chamber.  In the age where one of our greatest sports champions goes from a box of Wheaties to a box of Froot Loops, I can safely say where the next battlefront will be held, right on our children’s hoohahs and ding-a-lings.

If you’ve been on the Facebook, you’ve seen stories such as these, announcing that Target is moving away from gender based signs. Maybe you’ve clicked on the stories and read them, but if you’re like me (and I know I am), you don’t need to waste time on the mere facts as Target wants to spin it.  You know, in your heart’s gut that Target is on-board the Federal government’s plan to emasculate our boys and turn them into soprano-singing eunuchs. And at the same time give our precious little sugar and spice girls some big notions in their pretty little heads that men and women are the same.

Look, I’m a simple man. Growing up in Buffalo in the tiny Hatejoy district (lovingly referred to as “The Moron Island”) I was taught the value of judging books by their covers.  But who chose the covers? That’s right, everybody else.  By labeling groups of people we were able to better classify things. It would make it easy to hold conversations.  You knew exactly who I was talking about if I said “Joey the Wop”, and you weren’t confusing him with “Black Joey” or “Pollack Joe”.  Quite a time-saver, eh?

Legos, and wood pieces for boys, and sandwich building toys for girls

Legos, and wood pieces for boys, and sandwich building toys for girls


Same thing with genders.  Pink is for girls, blue is for boys. Barbies are for girls, GI Joes for boys.

Say you walk into a Target two months ago, and you want to buy a Transformers toy for one of your kids (my kids are all grown, at least the legitimate ones). You go to the boy’s toy aisle. There you’ll see giant pictures of muscular super-heroes, mighty robots with phallic weapons and green turtles wearing huge banana hammocks to sling their massive junk. Blues, blacks, and aggressive reds. Simulated power-tool toys. Guns! Swords!  Explosions! Laser fire!  You feel alive, like you wanna punch somebody right in the fucking throat!

Well, you know you came to the right place…

And if you wanted to make your wife buy a Barbie for your little sweet princess, you’d send her over to the girls section.  But wait, she’s been checking her phone a lot.  She better not be fucking cheating on me.  Better follow her to make sure, and to make sure she doesn’t pick up anything too expensive.

Anyways, it’s like walking into a goddamn Disney movie. Everything is pink, and frilly. There’s glitter and sparkle.  You see all the toy dolls like Barbie, or the toy babies that your girls can pretend to take care of.  Easy-Bake ovens.  Toy vacuum cleaners. Horses and ponies, make-up kits and tiaras.  Jesus, just standing there makes my balls hide for cover. But you knew you were in the girls section.

But now Target is taking the first step to remove these barriers, and begin to blur the line between our traditional gender roles that made America great. It’s a slippery slope that will lead to confusion in some of our less manly-boys. Instead of a good smack to let them know they can’t play with a toy vacuum, they’ll be wearing goddamn pixie wings and flitting about with a wand crowning your dog “Queen Pretty”.  On the other side, our sweet, dumb and innocent little princesses will also be confused, thinking that if they can play with Bob the Builder toys now, maybe they can work road-construction sites in the future, not just holding the “Men at Work” sign, either. Target will ram down their throats the thoughts that maybe they can hold important jobs, AND even get paid the same.

It’s a P.C. madhouse.

And after Target has planted the their bullseye logo on our kid’s genitals, you know they will fire, and blow their little bits away, leaving the kids open to so-called gender reassignment surgery.

No thanks, Target! It’s time to take America back for our young men for them to rule, and for our little sweethearts to pick up after them.

I urge you to boycott Target today.

-Karl Argle-Bargle

Local Developer and Tea Party Supporter.

Local Developer and Tea Party Supporter.

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